Expectations. Everyone has certain expectations they are expected to meet. Some in academics, some in sports, some socially. Some have expectations set so that they have to excel in all three fields. I used to be one of those people and believe me, it's not fun. Can you imagine being constantly expected to do something??? For example, you are about to take a test and you know that everyone in the class is expecting you to get the highest mark out of everyone. Or, everyday, everyone is expecting you to get a girlfriend/boyfriend or to hang out with your posse of 20 friends. And, the most common one, non academic stuff; In art class people expect you to be the one to use the most colour or to have the most detailed starfish or to make your dragon look like a dragon, not some mutated half horse half lizard alien thingy. Even though the people who are expecting those things think that the person can easily attain the standards that are set for them, it is quite the contrary. Because of all the pressure, the people who are expected to do great can't focus or do what they really want to do, because they are so concentrated on what people want them to do.
Last year, everyday I was asked a million questions about stuff that we were studying at school, because people expected that I would know the answer. I would answer the stupid questions (for example, how do you say I'm a donkey in French?), but as the year go on, the questions got harder and harder as the people asking the questions grew more and more knowledgeable. Eventually, when I didn't know the answer, people would say "That's unlike you" or "What do you mean??? You're the smart one". At first I would laugh with them, but after a while it got annoying. I mean, tear-your-hair-out-and-then-once-you-teared-all-of-your-hair-out-start-clawing-at-the-wall-until-it-collapses-and-the-whole-building-falls-down-and-then-you-get-trapped-and-then-scream-in-frustration annoying. Do you think it's a pleasant or satisfying feeling to know that you let people down???
Of course, people don't always expect for people to do well, some people expect others to fail. Imagine, it's your turn to run the stupid hurdle course, you're feeling pretty nervous and kinda crappy because you know you suck at running, let alone jumping over stuff while running. You decide that you're going to try as hard as you can in hopes to maybe impress everyone and exceed their expectations, then, all of a sudden, someone screams, "Don't fail like you normally do". That sucks out all of your confidence and makes you not want to try. For those of you who know me personally, I think you know what P.E. class I am referring to, and to WHO I'm referring to, but to those of you who don't, just know that this happened to me and I'm sure has happened to you. Do you want to be known as the one who fails? For those of you who happen to be great at everything, think about it this way, there is always going to be someone who looks down on you because they are better.
I know that everyone has expectations that they would like to be met, even if really high or really low expectations are set for you, you still find a way to expect things out of other people. No one is perfect (and I'm anything but), but next time you are about to scream out, "Oh, I bet ___________ is going to get the highest mark" or "Don't even try, you know you're going to fail" at someone, just remember that feeling of pure crap that you feel when a comment like that is directed to you:)
I know that everyone expects something out of everyone and everything, but sometimes, we don't realize that something as simple as expecting someone/something to be great or terrible, we are totally modifying are end opinion. If we expect something to be great and it turns out to suck, then it's going to suck even more because we had an ideal picture in our mind that we let intertwine with reality.
If you're someone who feels like they have a high bar that they have to clear in order to please people, I'm assuming that you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. 'What the hell am I supposed to do!', is something that was on my mind for the majority of my grade 6 year. All you have to do, is when someone asks a question expecting you to know the answer, or when someone (like your parents) state that they are disappointed in you because they believe you could have done better, let them know that you tried your best and worked your ass off to get the result that you did. Also, let them know that you can't focus on what you're doing because you are constantly trying to please them and that everything you do is so that they are proud of you. The person you're yelling at is probably pissed off at you at this point, so I would recommend going to your room as soon as you are finished your rant, or things could end poorly...
Hopefully this technique works for you, it worked for me.
In conclusion, we all live under expectations, it's deciding what you're going to do about them, that's the hard part.
Lady Grey tea in hand, I leave you yearning for the next post. If there is one. lol.
Expect the unexpected. :-)
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