How to Cope With the Insane People in Your Life

HI EVERYONE!!! So my first blog seemed to be more or less a success so here comes round two. By request, my topic this time is (drum roll please) How to Cope With the Insane People in Your Life!!! I won't name any names but we have some very, umm, how do I put it, umm, INSANE people in our school.

So, the antics of an insane person are:

1) To Epicly Fail all the time (some examples are the whole capture the flag incident, "of course I heard you, I'm not blind" or falling when just standing and knocking everything over AND almost crushing your violin)

2) Think weird thoughts.

3) Have a nickname that somehow the whole school finds out, and they don't know the nickname cuz you're cool, more like the know the nickname because it's good material for jokes

4) Being pretty bad at sports, but bad in a way that make you totally lol

5) Being pretty bad at other stuff too

So now you know how to recognize an insane person. The real question is "how the hell am I supposed to handle this" There are 4 options.

Option 1: Laugh at the person. Insult the person. Encourage that person to fail so that you get a laugh. So pretty much what the average shallow middle school student would do. I know we're always told to "be supportive" or "be the better person" Screw that. This way is more entertaining and I'm sure they don't mind...that much... Any way. The key to using this method is to think of good insults and comebacks for when insane person makes a comeback, or, a comeback for when the insane person tries to insult you. Don't be discouraged if you can't think of comebacks. Being able to come up with comebacks is a gift, it can't be learned.

To think of good comebacks, do the following:

a) Find loopholes in what the person said

b) Think about how false the statement was (ex. they say they have lots of friends, you laugh and say "in what world do you live in?")

c) Usually, if you have thought of a good comeback, you can use variations of it in pretty much everything

d) Let it come to you

e) never, repeat NEVER EVER EVER use a comeback you heard somewhere else. It's a very risky move, because if insane person has heard the comeback, he/she will hold it against you. And also you don't wanna get sued later on in life for copyright issues.

Option 2: Act stuck up and ignore them. If they persist on asking the same question over and over and over and over and over and over again, ask them why you should answer and walk away. Usually, the insane person will leave you alone in approximately 2-4 days. This is the boring, yet effective way of getting them to stay the hell away from you.

Option 3: Be the kind and supportive person who accepts them for who they are- YEAH RIGHT. If everyone did this, then what kind of world would we live in!!! Everyone would get along, there would be no entertaining grade 6 fights, walls would serve no purpose because we wouldn't have to push people up against them. It would be torture. Yeah, this option was a joke, the real option is to turn into a penguin, hitch a ride on an ostrich's back and fly to Antarctica where you and the ostrich would start a very successful sushi restaurant. Then the money would run out and you'd sing in the subway stations, where you'll meet the insane person and they'll start bothering you all over again. So, this isn't a good option either, but it's definitely better than the joke. After all, who wants to live in a perfect world?

Now, with so many options, which one do you choose? ***hi meg Yulia was here :P(this keyboard amuses me)*** See what I mean by insane people? Which option do you think I should choose? You know, to stop Yulia bothering me? Did you guys know she stalked me all the way to my house today? OK, fine, she didn't, I brought her here on my own. ANYWAY let's get back on topic. So, which option DO you choose? Any one you want, of course! Even though I'd go with the turning into a penguin story, but that doesn't matter...

Green tea in hand I leave you, yearning for the next post. If there is one. lol